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gategrrlIt's not exactly like that though. On EHell, there are two people who are going through recovery from particularly hurtful and bad breakups with very selfish/emotionally dishonest people.
They both tend to obsess about the people who broke up with them, and while I am very sympathetic to that state of mind (it took me two years to get over thinking about an abusive boyfriend who broke up with me in college - took me a long while to realize what a good thing that was, though) it does get tiresome to keep hearing about the nastiness of the dumper on thread after thread.
And now we have a Deathmatch between the two women involved in these break-up stories. One of them posted about a Coincidence from Hell at her local mall that involved the hated daughter of her dumper; and then the *other* woman coming out of a break-up expressed sympathy - and to me, as innocuous as her post sounded, it also had the earmarks of another post going into HER OWN beefs with her own dumper. The original poster snapped back at her in a seemingly out-of-character vicious post, and now other posters are telling her to apologize. Yes, I suppose, since it's an Ettiquette forum, she should. But I get where she's coming from. The other woman does tend to make many relationship posts all about her own relationship and the children involved in it.
I think constantly involving the children in talk about a relationship you that failed gets very old and very tacky after a while. It's not as if the child is able to defend herself, either from the dysfunctional parenting style of your expartner or one's own attitudes about that parent. I think it's tacky - but that's a different issue from the one I originally brought up.
I like EHell, but I'm getting the feeling that certain posters are able to get away with bellyaching that frankly, would be out of place anywhere else except in a Broken Hearts Forum, or Toxic Relationships Forums. There's the human element that's wonderful to read about (I wouldn't give up Cirkspan's Neighbor posts for anything) BUT those don't involve constant ... well, how to put it ... whining, when really, the posters would be better off going to a therapist and talking it off with a qualified person.
They both tend to obsess about the people who broke up with them, and while I am very sympathetic to that state of mind (it took me two years to get over thinking about an abusive boyfriend who broke up with me in college - took me a long while to realize what a good thing that was, though) it does get tiresome to keep hearing about the nastiness of the dumper on thread after thread.
And now we have a Deathmatch between the two women involved in these break-up stories. One of them posted about a Coincidence from Hell at her local mall that involved the hated daughter of her dumper; and then the *other* woman coming out of a break-up expressed sympathy - and to me, as innocuous as her post sounded, it also had the earmarks of another post going into HER OWN beefs with her own dumper. The original poster snapped back at her in a seemingly out-of-character vicious post, and now other posters are telling her to apologize. Yes, I suppose, since it's an Ettiquette forum, she should. But I get where she's coming from. The other woman does tend to make many relationship posts all about her own relationship and the children involved in it.
I think constantly involving the children in talk about a relationship you that failed gets very old and very tacky after a while. It's not as if the child is able to defend herself, either from the dysfunctional parenting style of your expartner or one's own attitudes about that parent. I think it's tacky - but that's a different issue from the one I originally brought up.
I like EHell, but I'm getting the feeling that certain posters are able to get away with bellyaching that frankly, would be out of place anywhere else except in a Broken Hearts Forum, or Toxic Relationships Forums. There's the human element that's wonderful to read about (I wouldn't give up Cirkspan's Neighbor posts for anything) BUT those don't involve constant ... well, how to put it ... whining, when really, the posters would be better off going to a therapist and talking it off with a qualified person.
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Date: 2006-07-22 10:48 pm (UTC)But when you let it get to the point that it's all you talk about, or all you let anyone talk about, that's just not healthy. Not only is this annoying and unfair to other posters, it's not even good for the two posters you're talking about.