There's a show on The Learning Channel (TLC) that's into it's fourth season called Say Yes to the Dress. It takes place at a huge bridal shop in Manhattan that employs 250 salespeople, has 35000 square feet of space (I may have lost a zero in there, but think; this is *Manhattan*!) and tons of dresses.

The one episode that sticks with me like a cold virus is the one where a woman-child in her early twenties comes into the store. She's designed a dress that their seamstresses have made for her. What does it look like? She wants her dress to be transparent, with no seams showing on the bodice. The dress is pure ballroom, and all she wants is lace. Just lace, no other material to help hold it together. She tries the dress on and her father, who is on his cell phone, takes a look. His twenty-something daughter looks like a fancy prostitute in the dress she designed. He looks over, nods, says "Whatever you want, love" (in so many words) and goes back to his conversation. The cost of this dress?  $24,000. The bride doesn't want it because it doesn't conform to her vision of near-nekkid lace. The sales people try to convince her to take another dress (that is WAY more tasteful) that is still expensive, but can be altered to suit her vision. They've already explained why her vision of a totally form-fitting lace dress can't happen the way she wants--it needs seams for the construction. And Daddy is happy to pay for it all. He's rich, he's on his cell, and all he wants is for his little girl to be happy leave him alone to conduct business on the phone.

I keep going back to this sequence on the show. Was it the fact the bride looked like a ho in her chosen design? Well, okay, that was surprising enough, but honestly, she's spoiled and has probably never been told No when it comes to the THINGS she wants. Daddy is happy to give it to her. As long as he can conduct business.

And so I guess that's why my mind keeps going back. Her father didn't care enough to tell his daughter she'd look like a bridal fetish doll going into myriad bachelor parties the night before by wearing the dress she'd designed. No. She ended up rejecting it--on the surface, because it didn't fit with her perfect "vision" of a bride's dress. Thinking back on it (with no evidence to support my theory, mind you), it's as if she'd designed that outrageous, in appropriate dress to get Daddy's attention. It barely registered on him.

She ended up buying an expensive designer rack-dress modified just for her. Thankfully the bridal store employees kept it much classier, much more beautiful than her original designed dress. It was still a hard sell. That rich girl is going to have a hard row to hoe to get any of dad'sgenuine attention. I *might* feel sorry for her, but with all with all that money she has access to, it's hard to feel too sympathetic. She's never going to get her father to really *care* about her, though. Oh, I'm sure he loves her in the way a father is supposed to love his daughter. But he'll never care enough to set his own limits or give her a steady portion of his attention.

I dropped Mermaid off at her school this morning. She likes to listen to this dogawful music station called KISS FM. About the only 'redeeming' thing they do in the morning is take vetted calls from women and men (mostly women) about their relationships.

This morning's call was from this young chick in North Hollywood. She and her boyfriend had just bought a house and moved into it together, when she got back from work one day to find a short note from him saying he was sorry, he couldn't do it anymore, and he'd still cover his half of the mortgage. This was seven months ago. The reason she was calling was last Saturday night, her cowardly boyfriend  called her up, they ended up screwing, and she left not knowing what the emotional arc was: he'd told he loved her.

So KISS's schtick is to have a female crew member call the guy, and offer a free delivery of roses, no strings attached. In *this* case, the guy made sure he wasn't going to be charged in any way whatsoever, and made the card out to a girl called "Anj-eee". That was not the caller's name. Charlene gets on the line, and he keeps saying he doesn't want to talk about it on the air, while she starts off on him. He keeps insisting it takes two to do what they did, and they'd never said they were exclusive.

Whoa. Lesson here, girls. If you've known a guy for only two years, don't buy a house with him until you're *married* or have a legal deal worked out in advance. If he takes off right after a mortgage on a house, do NOT think he's that into you. Or into commitment. This jerk hadn't told her anything concrete, but after seven months, you'd think she would have gotten the message. What a mess, especially if she wants to sell it. Or he does. I wonder whose name the house deed is in?
From 2005:
A News of the Weird Classic (July 2005)

Willie Windsor, 54, of Phoenix has for several years lived as a full-time baby, wearing frilly dresses, diapers and bonnets, sucking on a pacifier, eating Gerber cuisine and habitually clutching a rag doll, in a home filled with oversized baby furniture. According to a long Phoenix New Times profile in June, the diaper is not just a prop. Windsor said he worked hard to learn to become incontinent, even chaining the commode shut to avoid temptation, and the reporter admitted feeling "disconcert(ed)" that Windsor might be relieving himself at the very moment he was describing his un-toilet training. Apparently, Windsor's brother, ex-wife, girlfriend and a neighbor tolerate his lifestyle (though no girlfriend has yet been willing to change his diapers). Windsor is a semi-retired singer-actor and said he's been celibate for nine years. [Phoenix New Times, 6-9-05]

I've heard of this fetish, but this takes it to a whole new level. Perhaps this is the story that inspired that CSI episode way back when? And OMG. Dudes. The big baby has a girlfriend?

And you don't want to be driving when you're doing these two things:

Poor at Multitasking: In Britain's Manchester Crown Court in December, Imran Hussain, 32, was sentenced to eight years in prison for his DUI-related crash that killed two people in August. (Hussain was also masturbating at the time.) [BBC News, 12-8-08]

Louise Light, 21, was not hurt when she crashed into guideposts in Woodstock, Ontario, in November, but she did get milk all over her because she was eating cereal from a bowl while driving. [Canadian Press, 11-21-08]

Eating cereal? Masturbating? While driving??? People. Use those brain cells, especially when you're driving a vehicle that can kill people!

This takes animal-loving beyond what PETA advises, I think:

In February in Dover-Foxcroft, Maine, Phillip Buble's father was convicted of attempting to murder Phillip, 44, by smacking him in the head with a crowbar because Phillip would not cease public displays of affection with Lady, a mixed-breed dog to whom Phillip considers himself married "in the eyes of God." The next month, Phillip gave a 30-minute presentation to a state legislative committee urging that it not pass a pending anti-bestiality bill (though Phillip describes himself personally as a "zoophile" and not a bestialist). Lady had to wait for him in the car because dogs are not allowed in the chamber. In April, Phillip was fined $50 for having an unlicensed dog (not Lady; it was apparently a side dog). [Bangor Daily News, 3-27-01, 4-27-01]

Thanks to uExpress' News of the Weird

What happens when a Brown Recluse Spider bites you on the face? Extreme grossness warning on this video: I've heard people tell they were so grossed out by the amount of puss involved in this short vid that they threw up. And, although surgery vids squick me out to no end, for some weird reason, I find it fascinating how much of this goop was in there.

Not for the squeamish.

Tattoo you

Aug. 7th, 2008 09:46 am

I've seen some severe cases of body modification, and although this guy hasn't done stuff like split his tongue or gotten molding implants under his skin or anything like is remarkable what he's had done to his face.

 I'm ten days late with this, but, oh well. Apparently the three youths (they were NOT children) taunted the Siberian tiger by standing up on the railing/fence just outside its enclosure. They all had alcohol and pot in their systems, and it's very possible they were throwing things at the animal.

The article reports that there had been reports through that day of a group of young men being rowdy and disturbing the peace (such as it is, in the SD zoo), but no one put it together or did anything about it.

I think the zoo has to have stricter policies on public drunkeness and rowdy behavior, not to mention automatically ejecting families with children who persist in bothering the animals in their enclosures. As the tiger showed, not all these animals are defenseless, but they have little to NO power behind their fences to get back at people who drive them mad and trigger their hunting or running reflexes.

This story reminds me of another one - where a little girl in a Minnesota zoo jumped the fence, was bitten by a meerkat defending its territory. ALL the meerkats in that encloser had to be killed in order to be tested for rabies. Why? Because the 9 year old's parents didn't want her to get a rabies shot, even though she made a real effort to touch them. Five meerkats, murdered because of selfishness. I hope that family were given a bill for the cost of replacing those poor animals. Three of them were kits.

It's too bad there isn't a Stupid Test before people go into the zoo. It's as if some people have a short circuit in the brains that make them think that just because an animal is behind bars, or plexiglass, or whatever, that it's used to people and will have a song and dance at the ready. Fortunately, I think most people wouldn't dream of taunting the animals (not intentionally, anyway) or provoking them. But yeah, Darwin, baby. Darwin works. If it has to be a tiger making Darwin's law work, so be it.



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