Oh my. 

How nice (in a not-nice way) to see people in an Etiquette forum dog-piling on a poster instead of approaching the person reasonably. And yes, apparently it does matter if you snark, or talk to, a mod in the "wrong tone". It gets you banned. Mods are more speshuller than other people in the forum, because I guess the other people in the forum are unable to actually notify the mods when posts are posted in the "wrong tone" and instead go "ha-ha!" to posters they can't deal with about "now the mods are gonna get you!" if the poster doesn't toe the line.

And accusations by mods (in any capacity) are de rigeur. It's fortunate that the poster who was accused by a mod of inconsistency in her views on children was able to fend off the accusations without causing a banning of herself. Yes, especially since she'd just been greeted back into the fold after missing for many months. 

Mods are human. But in Etiquette Land, they're more equal than everyone else. Some things never change.
 And a resounding end to the Moderation Input Requested thread on Modern Etiquitte!

The chief mod closed the thread after some well-thought out posts on how the mods approach the wording of their moderation posts. Why? She was offended. Why was that? Anything helpful that anyone had to bring in, to help allieviate the feeling of heavy-handedness, was summarily dismissed as "mod bashing."  **

Why do I care about this? In actual fact, I don't. It's like watching a train-wreck, and it's wrecked. The posters they're left with now will continue to post harmless, inoffensive, unopinionated posts so as not to bring the wrath of Human Unit or Kaishay or Agave on them. 

Yup, E-Hell Dame is alive and well in the new forum. Quite a legacy she's left behind her.

**this was after she stormed off in a huff the previous day about a perceived insult from posters trying to help out
Back on November 4, I wrote this entry: Modern Etiqueitte . 

Back to the present, from exactly one month ago. 

It's vindicating that I'm not the only person who went to that forum who found the mod-work to be heavy-handed and draconian. An entire thread's been started up about the issue (by the mods, to their credit)!   What I find amusing is that although the people in charge are now requesting input, they're really not accepting any actual critting of their methods or tone.  Instead what I see happening there is the mods are asking for input, instead got some crit (reasonable and clearly stated, too) and come down on the politely worded crits like a ton of bricks. I honestly don't think they even see it. It has nothing to do with whether they have their mod hats on or not: it has everything to do with the pugalistic attitude of "I'm right, so fuck off". Done in ever so barely polite posts.

I've been a member on other forums, but frankly - this is the worst. And that's including some very autocratic owners of forums. It's sad, too, because a lot of the folks who posted there, or posted and have left, are people I enjoyed reading. They had intelligent posts, or funny posts, or what have you posts, and let others into their lives.

But now, all I see is Animal Farm.
Although it started out as a lovely experiement in Modern Etiquette, I'm leaving the hallowed halls of the new and current E-Hell.  Yeah...just don't like the tone of a few of the current moderators. They've gone from being lighthearted, to as heavy-handed as E-Hell Dame at end of her reign as Etiquitte Maven of Delphi. Dare I say the power has gone to some heads and swelled them up beyond words. It's actually gotten nasty with some of the mod posts, in response to some rather tempered opinions, which is NEVER acceptable. Especially in a so-called Etiquette Forum.

Guess E-Hell Dame never left the building, eh? 
It's not exactly like that though. On EHell, there are two people who are going through recovery from particularly hurtful and bad breakups with very selfish/emotionally dishonest people.

They both tend to obsess about the people who broke up with them, and while I am very sympathetic to that state of mind (it took me two years to get over thinking about an abusive boyfriend who broke up with me in college - took me a long while to realize what a good thing that was, though) it does get tiresome to keep hearing about the nastiness of the dumper on thread after thread.

And now we have a Deathmatch between the two women involved in these break-up stories. One of them posted about a Coincidence from Hell at her local mall that involved the hated daughter of her dumper; and then the *other* woman coming out of a break-up expressed sympathy - and to me, as innocuous as her post sounded, it also had the earmarks of another post going into HER OWN beefs with her own dumper. The original poster snapped back at her in a seemingly out-of-character vicious post, and now other posters are telling her to apologize. Yes, I suppose, since it's an Ettiquette forum, she should. But I get where she's coming from. The other woman does tend to make many relationship posts all about her own relationship and the children involved in it.

I think constantly involving the children in talk about a relationship you that failed gets very old and very tacky after a while. It's not as if the child is able to defend herself, either from the dysfunctional parenting style of your expartner or one's own attitudes about that parent. I think it's tacky - but that's a different issue from the one I originally brought up.

I like EHell, but I'm getting the feeling that certain posters are able to get away with bellyaching that frankly, would be out of place anywhere else except in a Broken Hearts Forum, or Toxic Relationships Forums. There's the human element that's wonderful to read about (I wouldn't give up Cirkspan's Neighbor posts for anything) BUT those don't involve constant ... well, how to put it ... whining, when really, the posters would be better off going to a therapist and talking it off with a qualified person.
Here's the Forum address, for those who don't know it: http://forums.delphiforums.com/etiquettehell/messages

This thread is called Dissatisfied McMuffin Consumer in the Life in General folder.

Not only is it interesting and hilarious, you'll NEVER ever want to eat fast food again. Ever. Burgers that disappear after 30 minutes on the grill. French fries that are a mixture of soy, pototoes and other ingrediants extruded from machines like snack food. Workers who add their own ingrediants to the food. (anyone see "Fight Club" and the scene in which the main character pees in vat of soup?) And other fun and eye-opening posts about fast food and how unhealthy it is, as well as other posts telling stories about bad service that we can all relate to.

Check it out, you can't miss this thread!



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